Oxegen 2009: Main Stage Preview

Posted on 9th Jul 09 by Liam Tyrrell | 5

So tomorrow it all gets underway down in Kildare, and Drop-D has all the knowledge and experience required to guide you through the terrible terrain that represents this year’s line-up on the Main Stage at Oxegen. The action gets underway early on Friday afternoon, so by the time we finish reorganising our stamp collection, stripping the wallpaper in the hall, stairs and landing, and preparing tonight’s roast rack of lamb in a rosemary and red wine jus with thyme encrusted new potatoes and lightly vinegared asparagus, you’ll be gone. But never fear, when you return, weary and muddy eyed on Monday you can compare how we said it would go down with how it went down in reality. Don’t say we never give you the chance to tell us we were all wrong.

FRIDAY:

The Artane Band/Brilliant Things:

We’re not quite sure how this one is going to work. These two acts are billed simultaneously, so whether Brilliant Things are going to play with a full marching band, or whether The Artane Band is going to require the services of a highly mediocre pop/dance duo to improve their performance, we don’t know. The only sure thing is that everyone will be off pitching tents, getting drunk, or aiming for the first score of the weekend when this show  is on. Helpful bunch, aren’t we?

The Coronas:

Everyone’s favourite Mexican beer-sponsered act hit the main stage next. Shove a lime down their necks and drink the bastards. Sorry, Drop-D has no love for mediocre soft rock. We thought the rise of the Richter had done away with this kind of thing. Obviously not.

James:

Drop-d must apologise, did we just go through a time-warp? James? Honestly? Oh God. When Drop-D was younger, we hit the RDS for a Radiohead gig. James were the first support act. By God, that’s 40 minutes of our lives that will never come back, although the nice clean space where memories of it should be has come in useful for storing assorted facts on the internal anatomy of prehistoric creatures. You can probably find something much better to watch when James are on, and we suggest you do.

Lily Allen:

Our Lil will surely put on a decent show, possibly with some side-boob for the boys, and indeed the girls of certain persuasions. Her catchy, summery sounds, combined with her enthusiasm probably make her among the perfect choices for an early evening Main Stage slot.

The Script:

Oh God. Really? Look, let’s just forget we said anything and move on. Ok? Good. Next!

Snow Patrol:

See Above.

the idea of a Britpop revival gives us the cold sweats and the midnight terrors all rolled into one.

Blur:

Another band on the comeback kerrching trail. Blur used to put on quite a good show in like, oh, 1997, but after all these years do people really still want to sing Parklife and Tender as Damon All-Bran ponces around like a child of 15? Drop-D is certain that plenty of people will be all a-flutter at the prospect of seeing these London boys again, but frankly, the idea of a Britpop revival gives us the cold sweats and the midnight terrors all rolled into one. People, we implore you, keep the past in the past.

SATURDAY:

The Saw Doctors:

We used to love them, used to love them once, when we were nine and hadn’t ever heard any good music. But if you’re up early, looking for a laugh, or a fine lad or lassie from way down whesht to spend the day with, then this dear reader, is where you want to be.

Squeeze:

Drop-D is pretty sure that Squeeze are on the bill so that people who bought tickets purely on the basis that The Specials are playing will have another band of that era to watch. Either that, or they loaned their tour bus to The Specials, and so are just going to be in the neighbourhood. Try and catch Cool For Cats, it’ll be either first or last in the set, if Drop-D‘s patented hit-locater is working properly.

The Blizzards:

Remember a bit up the page there when we were talking about The Script, well, just go back and read that and then move on.

James Morrison:

Drop-d is beginning to wonder why it volunteered to write this piece at all. So far there’s been only one act we could even begin to recommend. And this one certainly is not it.

Yeah Yeah Yeahs:

Drop-d thinks that this show is probably your best bet fellas, the ladies love a bit of Karen O. Hailed as one of the Americas’ finest exports, Yeah Yeah Yeahs are stylish indie-rock. Their live show is packed with energy and we’re pretty sure there’s some songs you can sing along to. Don’t hold us to that though, Drop-d knows virtually nothing about music.

Whip out your lighter and get howling as the sun goes down.

Elbow:

More indie-by-numbers for the masses. Elbow were big hits on the festival circuit last summer, and so it’s no surprise that they’re back again. Drop-d seriously thinks that some sort of temporal anomaly has occured, we’re almost certain that we had to write the same guff about the same bands last year. Anyway, these guys definitely have a big sing along song that they play at the end. Whip out your lighter and get howling as the sun goes down.

Bloc Party:

By God, how many of these kinds of bands are there? Ok, we apologise, there’s probably an immense number of Bloc Party fans out there who think that they’re pioneers of modern music. Perhaps they’re right. It’s a crying shame then, that what they do sounds so dated even now. All that faux-oppressed passion, all those samey-samey beats, all those trendy clothes. Bloc Party – Coldplay with a racially sensitive line-up.

Kings Of Leon:

Saturday night’s headliners, the public’s choice, the leaders of the free world. Dear God. Can we go home yet? If you like bland, meaningless soft-rock, then this is the show for you. Go on, enjoy it, and get out of our sight.

SUNDAY:

Ocean Colour Scene:

Drop-d is almost certain that there has not been an Oxegen or indeed a Wittness that OCS have not played. It’s unusual for them to be on so early, but expect a massive crowd anyway. For some inexplicable reason, these guys have a huge following in Ireland. Drop-d, as ever, prays for the souls of those corrupted.

Calvin Harris:

Harris would probably work better inside the Dance Shed, but he’s been given a shot at the great outdoors. Drop-d has no idea if he’ll be able to cut it. Expect energy and day-glo. Probably quite good for dancing off the first wave of Sunday drunkeness.

Lady Gaga:

Sweet mother of the divine shite. Drop-d has listened to Lady Gaga, we’ve tried to understand the appeal. Is it the outfits? Is it her nose? Is it the repetitive chanting of Carrickmines? We still don’t know. It seems that they changed what “it” is, and Drop-d is no longer with it.

Paolo Nutini:

We’re sorry. Really. This was a bad idea. We just should have left well enough alone. Look, if you’re going to see Paolo Nutini then there’s probably nothing for you here. We’re even at a loss to recommend a website that might better suit your tastes.

The Specials:

Finally, finally, a chink of light, a thin sliver of a bright dawn after the cold dark night. The Specials are, in Drop-d’s opinion, THE highlight of this year’s Oxegen. Go see them, just go. We don’t care if you’ve never heard of them, we don’t care if you have heard of them and hate them, all we can say is GO.

Razorlight:

Jonny Whats-his-face and his band of M.O.R. specialists return to Punchestown for the first time since stinking up Bon Jovi last summer. Jesus, they should have called this the “we call it rock, but it’s really just stuff that gets played on Lite FM” stage.

The Killers:

Another big-draw American band to close out the day. The Killers are known for spectacular live shows, all flashing lights, fancy suits and pyrotechnics, and incredibly bland music. We still have a problem with their popularity, it seems to Drop-d that they only became so big here because Lifestyle Sports bought up every ad slot for about 3 months and pounded the island out of it with Mr. Brightside.

So there you have it, the Main Stage previewed to within an inch of it’s life. We’re not big fans of any of the acts on it really, bar The Specials, but if you like that kind of thing then there’s plenty there to get excited by. Drop-d is never that enamoured with main stages at festivals, the real fun, and the real gems, are always buried in the smaller tents. Either way, enjoy!

Tags: artane band, bloc party, blur, brilliant things, calvin harris, elbow, james, james morrison, kings of leon, lady gaga, lily allen, main stage, ocean colour scene, oxegen, paolo nutini, razorlight, snow patrol, squeeze, the blizzards, the coronas, the killers, the saw doctors, the script, The specials, yeah yeah yeahs