Brendans world tour! Danish Grannies

Posted on 21st Feb 06 by Contributor | 0

Artist: none
Author: Brendan Walsh

12th Feb

Loved all your responses" great to hear all is well with you" So I've left India" had an a amazing time" the highlight being the leopard and elephants" the food and people were great too. The roads" paths" toilets" showers and transport were all tough going at times" but it was def worth it. An Irish woman I met said 'you don't come to India for a holiday" you come for a journey'" it's true" the roughness of it is one of it's greatest attractions" something a rare difference from our comfy western lives. I've met some great people" and seen some crazy street ads" a lot of which come with strange words" on one ad it said: 'You should beat the hell out of people…with your head'. I'm thinking it's intended to be a metaphor for winning arguments through words" not fists" or else they're just encouraging loafing.

The flight to Kuala Lumper was grand. The airport is amazing" huge" modern" clean" a real culture shock from India" Met Gerrard from the Bible belt in the USA" sound chap" around my age. We found a hostel and checked out KL the next morn. Humidity was the highest I've ever experienced" insanely damp" Went to Batu Caves in a bus with about 4" oxygen" 15 km from the modern city. As we walked towards the caves we heard the extremely loud screeching speakers playing Hindu crys. It was a an annual Hindu pilgrimage to the site" so lots of people around" food stalls" items for relegious offering stalls etc. Saw men and women with shaved heads and golden powder rubbed all over their bare scalps.

We climbed the steep 272 steps to the cave" passing by an enormous bright golden coloured Hindu God monumnet" at least 200m in height. The caves provided a very welcome shade" humidity" rain" heat and the step climbing all made us hot upon arrival" The cave ceiling was about 60m above us" a dark grey colour interspersed with small green plants gaining light from the caves wide entrance. There was a temple at the end of the cave" macaques and monuments scattered around" a massive hole in the ceiling displayed a sheer cliff with numerous plants and agile macaques jumping around.

On the way back down" we saw a man making his sacrifice for his faith" he had a metal spike pierced through both cheeks" and was wearing sandals with metal nails pointing in to the soles of his bare feet" that's on top of walking the 272 steps" there's sacrifice for ya"

Went to a large Chinese market on the evenin" lots of stuff" but I'd prefer to be looking at animals" than t shirts and watches" We moved on to a reggae bar later" good fun" great to hear Bob"

The next morn we went to the Patronas towers and the attached massive shoppin centre. Had a spicy green curry with noodles" very nice" Strolled on to the aquarium" best I've ever been to" some good conservation info and messages. The Aripaima was the most impressive fish" the largest fresh water fish in the world" up to 4.5m"

Went to Finnegan's Wake Irish bar p.m. Great pub" met a gang of teachers from England" Nick" sound chap from Newcastle" has put me up in his amazing apartment" I'll return the favour for him and his family at my Casa De Clonnee mansion when I get home" Swimmin pool" jacuzzis" beautiful apartment" I've totally landed on my feet" big contrast to some of the places i've been stayin"" Gotta run" headin out with Nick for some adventures"

Party on" lv Brendan

21st Feb

On Sunday 12th I went to Bangsar" one of the best urban areas/towns in KL" only 5 mins from my apartment. Nick and I went to a few bars" met up with a few of his mates who are living over here years. Two of them were ex footie hooligans" one was a "shed boy" "Chelsea" and i think the other was an "1856 crew" "West Ham". They weren't boasting about their mad days" but it was very interesting to hear their stories about cops" pubs" trains and ya can imagine the rest" They'd grown out of it and were a sound bunch. The pints of Heineken went down very well" I rarely drink now" so when I do it's even nicer than normal"

We followed that by the nicest Chinese meal I've ever had in my entire life" lemon chicken "recommended by Nick" good man""" mixed stir fry veg" spicy chicken and something else very tasty which I can't remember""I was a little bit drank"". I was half way through my meal when I was told I was actually eating dog"

Only jokin" I was half way through my meal when I realised I was using chopsticks" I've tried to use them before when sober" but failed" alcohol works in mysterious ways"

Went to Zoo Negara last Monday" a disappointing place. No imagination" very boring and far too small exhibits" concrete floors" metal bars" psychotic sun bears" very bored primates and a fairly disturbing animal show. What a shame" with their climate and space they could do something really special" but their ethos seemed to be their biggest problem.

Went to KL Bird Park on Tuesday" 'the world's largest covered bird park'. Unfortunately again" they had a serious ethos problem. Although the majority of the birds had loads of space and were very healthy" they let themselves down with other aspects. They had quite a few birds in tall/narrow cages" meaning the inhabitants have a very small flight distance" compared to if the cages were the same size but placed sideways" so they're long" rather than tall" giving them 4 times more flying distance. Does that make sense to you""

Their bird show was cringe city" they had macaws cycling" playing basketball and 'counting'. It was a total circus act. Macaws are highly endangered due to the pet trade and deforestation" but they didn't mention anything about that in the commentary. They only wanted to entertain the public" but where was the benefit for the birds"" I've seen some great animal shows in the UK and USA" where the animals are encouraged to display natural behaviours" which in my opinion are more fascinating than getting them to play with a ball" and make them act like mini humans.

A lot of the info signs encouraged the idea that parrots made great pets" saying that some species were 'easy to train to talk'" 'easy to tame' etc. I reckon a lot of people would leave the park thinking that birds were just another pet" and not wild "often endangered" animals" not good "Do I sound like the moaning Victor Meldrew"""

Moved on to the nearby butterfly garden" very nice" great to see a few frogs also" they're becoming extinct worldwide rapidly apparently because of a fungus disease. It then rained heavier than I've ever seen in my life" along with claps of thunder and lightning" a great sight"

Went to a very nice Italian restaurant with Nick" Paula and Hanna "two of Nick's friends"" good night" chilled" great food and the nicest surroundings I've been in since I left home. Not expensive either" especially considering it was Valentine's"

A couple I got to know by the swimming pool invited me to their home for lunch. Ken "75" English" and Mar "35" Singapore"" some age difference" Lovely food" good chat" and back to the pool.

Went to Taman Negara on thurs morn" Malaysia's amazing national park. 4 hour bus journey" and 3 hour boat journey. Staying at a camp on the riverbank. Insane heat" humidity and rain" so after dinner with a bunch of cool Danes I went to bed in my basic dorm" when I got up after a short sleep" I noticed two large fresh rat droppings beside me on my mattress. How nice"

Heard owls and lots of insects outside during night" amazing orchestra"

Next morning we "Danes and guide" went to the canopy walkway" up 45 m in the trees and 500 m long" really great views" Saw gliding lizards well" eh glide" from tree to tree"

Moved on to a local mountain" climbed to 442m" heard white handed gibbons roaring across their green territory" fab.

Went on boat ride in afternoon" got drenched in the rapids" waves over ya head" great craic" The water is soil coloured because of the deforestation that occurs upstream" without trees there's nothin to bind the soil so it gets washed away in the rains to the river" very sad. It's a big price to pay for our hardwood tables" furniture and decking in Europe"

Evening meals are always entertaining in the camp" it's a covered area" open on all sides. Lots of insects are attracted by the lights" which in turn are followed by super fast insect eating bats" Once there was an eagle unsuccessfully hunting a squirrel just outside. A porcupine" rats" and jungle fowl regularly walk in too" they come along every night" great to observe"""""""""""

Night trek at 2100" saw big spiders" 20cm long centipedes" stick insects" a massive red poisonous long legged insect" fireflies and crickets" a great invertebrate experience"

Started Saturday with a hike to Abei waterfall" had to cross a meandering stream/river about 20 times" slippery rocks and about 60cm depth water. On our return from the small waterfall" 'Minke'" the only granny "about 60 years" in our group started to slide in to the fast flowing water while tackling the most difficult crossing" her son didn't catch her so I jumped to push her back on the rock" with a result that I fell backwards in to the water and on to a big boulder" landed flat on my back so I was fine" but I got tottaly soaked" cut my elbow and smashed my watch" great fun" The Danish granny got to the bank safe and dry and was very apologetic" but she hadn't done anything wrong" we all had a good laugh about it""""

5 mins later Minke's daughter"in law "Ann"Marie" stopped walking and looked horrified" a leech was sucking blood from between her two smallest toes" blood slowly seeping from around the 2cm leech. James Maloney "workmate from the zoo" gave me a loan of his "SAS survival guide" after I had told him I planned to buy one. It's a great read and gives advice on everything 'outdoors'. It recommends placing a recently extinguished match on the leeches body to make it release from it's host "if you just pull them out they leave anchored head in the skin" causing infection". I carry a first aid pack everywhere with matches inside" so I tipped the leech with a match and sure enough he dropped off with an empty stomach. Thanks for the book James" I felt I had done my bit for Irish"Dane relations"

Soon after that" we saw a juvenile Malayan tapir" I love these animals" there's only three thousand left" so it was an extremely lucky sight" Very beautiful animal"

The excitement continued…went to 'Ear Cave'" from a distance of 30m we could smell guano "bat dung/faeces/poo/sh"te". The entrance was tiny" about 50 cm from the ground" lots of crawling ahead" After about 2 mins we were face to face "NO exaggeration" with hundreds of bats" can't wait to show you the photos" It was extremely hard to navigate the cave" the ceiling was rarely 50cm from the ground" except in the occasional caverns" where the bats mostly 'hung' out. We had to slide down a giant smooth guano covered boulder" hundreds of bats directly overhead" Felt like I was in an Indiana Jones movie" The exit from the cave was a real test" a tiny gap at an extreme angle" the tall Dane in front of me almost didn't make it" We walked away blinded by the sun after the total darkness of the cave" and covered in sweat and guano" BRILLIANT experience" but glad it was over"

Spent sunday with Anna Kornikova look"alike Mary Tanic from Estonia" walked the canopy again and booked a night in an animal viewing hide" 340 ringit with guide" only 45 "9 euro" ringit without guide" so I took the risk and decided to go it alone"

Got boat at 1500 yesterday" 4km boat trip to my drop off point" followed by a 2km walk to the hide. When I booked" the warden said there'd be another warden at my drop off point" but there wasn't. I climbed the steep bank" and saw a derelict holiday home site" like a scene from a horror" the houses were wooden but reminded me of the brick house from The Blair Witch project" Very creepy" I finally saw a head appear out of a small window from one of the two remaining intact houses" he said he lived there and that there was no warden around" I told him where I was goin and to send a search party if I wasn't back by 1030 today" he probably thought us tourists worry too much"

I started the walk" very very humid" loads of animal screeches" louder than previous walks" I guess because the animals here were less used to humans" so their warning calls "to other animals" when they saw you were extra emphasised"

Found the hide after 45 mins" a New Zealander 'Rob' was inside" glad to have the company. We were about 10m in the air" our hide was about 6m by 6m" a narrow horizontal viewing glass"less window peered out on to a natural salt/mineral lick. Bunk beds were wooden with no mattresses" no bother" I didn't intend to sleep.

It began to LASH rain" combined with total darkness it made our visibility of the lick almost impossible" our torches didn't improve vision much. By 1930 we had animal company" but not outside" 2 large rats jumped from the ceiling to the floor beside us. The guide books warned of them. they weren't wrong" Another 5 joined within an hour" so we hung our food on the bunk beside mine.

I eventually fell asleep" was woken every so often by the sound of rats jumping through the windows and from the ceiling. They were able to climb up the vertical posts of the bunks with total ease" real acrobats. Got a photo of one beside our toilet" a big lad"

At about 0200 I jumped from my slumber" there was a rat at my HAND" Insane" this was a mental night"

I left the following morning at 0900" and managed to take a wrong turn" was a tad lost for about 20 mins" Not a good experience. I eventually found my pick up point" and was glad to return to civilisation" I leave here tomo" I've had the most adventurous 5 days of my life" Taman Negara has not disappointed"

Bren