MODERN LIFE IS RUBBISH

Posted on August 22, 2006 by Contributor

Artist: Kiptos rants
Author: kipto

As I slight change of tact from my first two articles" I will dispense
temporarily " very temporarily"" " from the blind hatred and actually write a
quasi"serious article. I have been thinking about the following question for
some time now.. "Are the "noughties" the worst musical decade ever""" or least
the worst since the 1940"s. What put this into my head was the recent 65th
birthday of one Robert Zimmerman"I began thinking of the advancing years of
some of my musical heroes:
David Bowie " 59
Bob Dylan " 65
Lou Reed " 63
Tom Waits " 57
Neil Young " 60
Brian Eno " 60
Mick Jagger " 62
Keith Richards "1"246"532"643"731

But it got me thinking like a football manager"" yeah the boy Bowie has been a
great player for us for the last 30 years" I don"t think we"ll be able to
replace him". And who will replace these legends when the shuffle off the
mortal coil"" The state of modern music is an absolute disgrace. Bands like
Razorlight and Franz Ferdinand are praised to the heavens for ripping off bands
like The Boomtown Rats and Gang of Four "so why are bands like Oasis mercilessly
slagged off for ripping off the Beatles" At least Oasis made a decent fist of
ripping of the White Album".unlike Bell X1"s pathetic Talking Heads
impressions. Every decade since the 50"s has had genuine icons come to the
fore. So who is the icon of the "noughties" so far".. Robbie fucking
Williams"……Chris "kraftwerk" Martin"….fucking hell does anyone think that
anyone will be listening to the Arctic Monkeys in ten years " months"" " time.

People still want to go see bands like The Who and The Rolling Stones because
they have the songs to back them up"will anyone tolerate a 60 year old Robbie
Williams still miming his songs in 30 years time.
The Arctic Monkeys brings on to my next point"..the ridiculous hyping up of new
bands. This" of course is nothing new" but as each year goes by the flavor of
the month seems to be getting worse and worse. For example the Stone Roses"
debut album had people cumming into their cocoa in 1989".is the best album of
all time""NO"is it a fucking great album""YES. Five years later the monobrows
came on the scene with Definitely Maybe to more media bluster".is it the best
album of all time""NO"is it a great album"..YES. Then fast forward to a few
months back"the hype about the Arctic Monkeys is at it"s zenith""best debut
album ever" screamed one mag"."better than sergeant pepper""" screamed the NME
" whose "readers" rated it higher than any Beatles album ". So low and behold
when I got to hear the album " surprise surprise it was fucking crap"absolute
fucking shite""he"s a scumbag don"t you know". The same thing happened with
The Strokes "to fair their album was ok with a couple of good tunes"but they
were still being heralded as the saviors of rock n roll".BOLLOCKS""" Their 3
notes per riff crap is the type of stuff a four year old would come up with.

A pointer on how fucking crap music is now is that the mighty denizen of weekly
chart shows " not that the charts matter " Top of the Pops has been taken off
the air. Now obviously their was a lot of shite on totp since the beginning but
any show that has the beatles and the kinks in one episode is worth watching.
The demise of totp got me thinking".what have been the top music shows for the
last few decades""

60"s "too many to mention"TOTP at its peak"Ready Steady Go"various others
70"s "The Old Grey Whistle Test"I think one episode in the 70"s had Bowie" Tom
Waits" Springsteen in the one episode..say no more.
80"s " bad as they were "..had the Tube"compulsive viewing in the second worst
decade of all time""
90"s "Later with Jools Holland ".the live acts on TFI Friday " before it went
downhill ".
00"s "emmm Euraspa..Pop Idol"I"m sure they"ll be seen as classics in years to
come.

Even satellite music stations are falling into the trap. When MTV started back
it the 80"s it was an edgy channel "with it"s own rules" determined to play the
music "no one else will play". Now MTV is a fucking disgrace wall to wall hip
hop and Justin Fucking Timberlake..the skinny" ugly" ferret faced" fake tattoo
wearing" pseudo ghetto" Cameron Diaz shagging" self professed king of pop
cunt. When MTV began the flag" VH1 was launched.."we"ll play real music" they
decreed..fast forward to now..VH1 show videos by Simply fucking Red""""…Of
course they"ve launched a sister station which promises to be an edgy channel
"with it"s own rules" determined to play the music "no one else will
play""hmmmmmmmmmm".bet they"re showing Boyzone videos this time next
year".wankers. And that"s not taking into account the millions of stations like
the Box and the like that they have blaring out in bars in town. I remember many
a time in being in pubs were they"d turn off VH1 classic rock to turn on Vox
hits or some such wank"what kind of people want to watch the shit"".well
probably the type of guys who co"ordinate their outfits before going out " nice
demin jackets lads" not sure about the pink t"shirts though"" ".

So in a small tribute to the Top of the Pops here are the top ten reasons why
this decade sucks:

1. Nostalgia ain"t what it used to be"the Pet Shop
Boys..Kylie"Madonna"Legends"""" FUCK OFF""""
2. Hip hop"it aint new and it"s still shit"Kanye West: Touch The Sky""…touch
my cock""""can"t you even steal originally""".. FUCK OFF""
3. Rip off the Beatles "frowned upon " fair enough "..rip off Souixe and the
Banshees =genius apparently"FUCK OFF"""
4. George Harrison/Johnny Cash/Billy Preston " and so many more " are dead ".
Pete Doherty still alive"FUCK OFF"""
5. Wiggers".you want to be Black"" Fine" nothing wrong with that"But your heroes
are P. Diddy and Ja Rule and you don"t know who James Brown or Sly and The
Family Stone are"" FUCK OFF""""
6. Robbie Williams plays to 80"000 at Croke Park" enters the Guinness book of
records for most ignorance in one place"if you were there hang your head in
shame..oh and"FUCK OFF"""
7. Radio DJ"s " wankers at the best of times " waxing lyric about Take That"s
come back gigs"..FUCK OFF"""
8. Mariah Carey = Diva. Aretha Franklin =Who"s she"…….. FUCK OFF"""
9. The highlight of the MTV awards 15 years ago".Nirvana"s bassist clocking
himself into the head after throwing his bass guitar into the air after a raw
and edgy live performance featuring mosh pits and crowd suurfing""the
"highlight" of last years MTV awards".the unveiling of another "new" "biggy"
song by P. Diddy" featuring an string orchestra plays the same 2 or 3 notes
over and over".the funny thing is I think he"s the one who shot him"..FUCK
OFF""
10. The svengali"s behind the scenes of the last few decades".Alan Mcghee/Alan
Klein/Malcolm McClaren/Brian Epstein ".the svengali"s in this decade"..Louis
Walsh and Simon "I eat shit" Cowell.

Of course there are some exceptions to the crap that"s out there at the moment.
Bands like Mogwai" Sigur Ros and Mum are making challenging and original music
" and even then Mogwai ripped off Brian Eno and Robert Fripp"s guitar sound for
the "Happy Songs for Happy People" album"" but besides them " and maybe one or
two more exceptions " all the best new music is this decade has been released
by people in their mid"forties "Kate Bush "Ariel " to their 60"s "Brian
Eno/Neil Young/Bowie".

In my opinion the best Albums of this decade have been:
Kate Bush: Ariel
Neil Young: Praire Wind
Brian Eno: Another Day on Earth
Ringo Starr: Choose Love " "I"m serious" listen to it" it rocks"" "
Bruce Springsteen: The Rising
David Bowie: Heathen and Reality
Sigur Ros: Takk
I suppose I should look on the bright side"there"s still another 3 years of
"delights" yet to come"I"m looking forward to Ronan Keating being compared to
Bob Dylan in years to come.
Anyway I"m off to listen to some soul music before Kanye West ruins it by
rapping over it.
Until next time.

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