Hogan have managed to catch me reviewing their new single, Jealousy, a little after its release date and suffering from a mild bout of heatstroke, hooch over-indulgence and a general overwhelming delirium at the fact that I am heading to Primavera this week to experience what promises to be the festival of a bloody lifetime.

Hogan have also, according to their myspace, ‘shared the stage’ with bands like The Coronas, Republic of Loose, The Saw Doctors and The Blizzards and, ordinarily, I would presently be wiping the sick from the side of my mouth and pleading pathetically, probably in a baby voice, for a glass of water to take the bile-y, metallic taste out of my soiled gob….but not today.

The production here is of a very high standard with everything sounding crisp, clear and precise while Mark Hogan’s (see what he did there?) voice sounds like a thousand other pop-rock bands across the water and proves utterly inoffensive, apt, note-perfect and totally homogenous.

But they don’t give an arse what I think, do they? I’m certainly not their demographic for either sexual exploits or record sales and I can guarantee that this kind of stuff will gather them a ton of teenage fans who couldn’t give two shits about cutting edge electronic (should anyone?), the new Venetian Snares album or what Deerhunter are planning on doing next in the most prolific musical streak of any modern band.

Jealousy is pop-rock that belongs on every teenage American television montage ever, where the frosted-tipped protagonist is frolicking gleefully through the high school corridor

And before the comments below start filling up with the usual complaints about me trying to orchestrate the perfect cerebral, scatological joke while failing utterly to let the Drop-D faithful know what these two songs actually sound like, I will do you one better and review all the tracks on their myspace. Shove the complaints.

Jealousy is pop-rock that belongs on every teenage American television montage ever, where the frosted-tipped protagonist is frolicking gleefully through the high school corridor, high-fiving his buddies because the dance is on that night, it has an underwater theme and Casey, only the hottest chick in school, said yes!

Here I go Again, their first ever single which was featured on RTE’s children’s show Aisling’s Diary, is pure Justin Timberlake…but from Clara (great market down there. I got a deadly set of glasses from the 70s a few months ago. They all broke but still, they were nice.) All this track needs is a remix from Pharrell or Diplo or someone of that ilk and it could be an international smash. Again, the production is very good.

On their myspace, Hogan also feature a few other tracks and previous singles you may not have heard and that will no doubt appear on their album which is currently being recorded deep in the heart of Offaly at the ‘nutshed studio’, it seems.

Hogan ain’t happy. I think it’s a girl’s fault. The bitch.

First up is I Want You, produced by Greg Haver (Super Furries, Manics) which has chart-song written all over it. Then comes third single, Miss You, a decent stab at the Foo Fighters oeuvre, sounding full-bodied and rocking, again belonging on a teen drama soundtrack and a song written, touchingly, for a friend tragically killed in a car accident.

Second single, I’m Gonna, has a nice bluesy opening, generic lyrics about getting ready for ‘the show’ and features the words ‘puking’ and ‘moustache’ (I’m a fan of both) while the coda doesn’t disappoint with its rock hoe-down vibes.

In My Life is the tearjerker – Hogan ain’t happy. I think it’s a girl’s fault. The bitch. It’s time for some navel-gazing and self-analysis set to a few chords and plucked strings with echo-effects. I want to hug Hogan now but my efforts will prove fruitless, separated by a cruel laptop and about 100 or so miles (Dublin to Clara?).

At any rate, this is never going to be my cup of tea but the production is excellent, the songs, while nodding to clear influences, do exactly what I expect the band want them to do and Hogan will prove a safe booking for every and any Irish-band festival for the coming years, especially those with the emphasis on a young crowd looking to have fun.

They sound confident and assured, powered forward by catchy, sing-along choruses that I imagine my children, if I had any, would leap about in pseudo-epileptic seizure dance moves begging me to hit repeat as soon as the songs were played through.

While I probably won’t listen to much more Hogan, due to a consistently niggling cynicism and profound world-weariness, I hope they have continued success because goddamit they seem to be enjoying themselves, they are gigging hard, and there are enough begrudgers in this nation already.

Maybe Hogan really does know best. Good luck to them.

Drop-d Rating 5/10

Hogan Myspace